go on... amuse me.

A teacher starts a new job at a primary school on Merseyside and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she's a big football fan and supports Liverpool. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Liverpool fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Liverpool fan miss," she replies. The teacher, still shocked asks:"Well, if your not a Liverpool Fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I'm a West Ham fan, and proud of it," Mary replies. The teacher can't believe her ears. "Mary, how come you're a Hammers fan?"
"Because my mum and dad are from London's East End and are West Ham fans, so I'm a West Ham fan too!"
"Still," says the teacher, annoyed, "that's no reason for you to be a West Ham fan as well. You don't have to be like your parents all the time, do you? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car thief. Would you be like them then?"
"No," smiles Mary, "I'd be a Liverpool fan."

Oh did you hear the one about the ginger at the party?

Neither did I.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods and the bear turns to the rabbit and says "Excuse me, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit says no so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

I guess we're not that funny as a group...

A man walks into a bar.. "Ouch!"

Well, there are people from many countries here, is not easy to translate a joke to english without losing much of the fun.

I reckon my Sat Nav's broken again.

I type in 'Chelsea' and it says I'm 2 minutes from Rome?!

I reckon my Sat Nav's broken too.

I type in Liverpool and it says its in Europe.

FOR SALE:

38,000 Red and white flags, nearly new, only been waved for eight minutes.

Contact: Mr. A. Wenger, Emirates Stadium, London, N5

what's the thing that has 2 legs and drains blood as hell?...

answer: a dog that has been severed in two... not what u were thinking ah?

what can a blonde do with a dollar?

go to two 50 cent shows

what's a white dot standing at the corner?

it's a street whore aspirin

what's five coloured dot's on the grass?

it's the power ranger ants

Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven was hungry and "seven, eight, nine" (7, 8, 9).

Why did the Mexican sneeze on his wife?
Tequila!

i still think the funniest thing posted here is gooner's signature

wtf?

It sounds like to-kill-her